‘Shadows of the Damned: Hella Remastered’ Retains Its 2011 Immaturity, for Higher and for Worse [Review]

“Johnson’s Boner can now flip right into a HOTBONER! Whereas holding intention, maintain the secondary hearth button to cost, then launch it to deploy your sticky payload.”

Have been that tutorial popup to look in actually some other online game, it would increase an eyebrow or two. But by the point you’ve reached the related juncture in 2011’s Shadows of the Damned, you should have develop into fully desensitized to such double entendres (if they’ll even be known as that).

Certainly, after 5 stable hours of “Goal for the Cracks” this and “One-Eyed William” that, it’ll hardly part you when the barrel of your sentient revolver — named Johnson, due to course he’s — extends to a prodigious size following a very steamy cellphone name.  And people are the bits that might generously be deemed euphemistic!

There’s additionally loads of in-your-face lasciviousness to go-around right here, whether or not it’s a (nominally heroic) character remaking that his “stiffy” has been deflated on the sight of a scantily clad corpse erupting right into a geyser of blood, or the second whereby you traverse the cleavage of an enormous intercourse employee’s whereas she simulates performing fellatio along with her fingers. Initially, I attempted conserving a log of all this NSFW content material, however then I began to fret about what individuals would consider me in the event that they occurred to browse the notes part of my cellphone, and noticed the phrases “Phallic Monster Fish” written in that exact order. So, I gave up and simply surrendered to the lunacy.

Freeway To Hell

In case you’ve not performed Grasshopper Manufacture’s train in unhinged juvenility earlier than, then one of the simplest ways I can describe it’s that it feels just like the product of a young person’s pubescent creativeness run wild. In it, you play as Garcia ‘Fucking’ Hotspur, a motorcycle-riding, gun-toting, alcohol-fueled lothario who’s the scourge of the netherworld (feared by the very Prince of Darkness himself). He’s a demon hunter by commerce, a grasp of hand-to-hand fight, and derives the identical advantages from mainlining tequila that Popeye will get from guzzling down cans of spinach. Oh, and he’s additionally on a quest to rescue his smoking-hot lingerie mannequin girlfriend from the bowels of Hell.

Each feminine character this licensed badass interacts with is, to some extent, romantically excited by him and each man both harbors a begrudging respect for him or in any other case quakes of their boots at his mere presence. He’s, in brief, a protagonist expressly designed to enchantment to these with out-of-control hormones. Though, come to consider it, I dimly bear in mind being 13 years outdated and am fairly certain that I’d have solely felt crippling embarrassment if I have been saddled with the title “Garcia Fucking Hotspur”. Maybe a extra correct means of taking a look at it then, is that he’s the best masculine specimen as envisioned by the gang from It’s All the time Sunny in Philadelphia.

Anyway, the fundamental premise is that Garcia’s inamorata, Paula, has been kidnapped by the vengeful forces of evil (who’ve grown uninterested in him thinning their ranks up within the mortal realm) and now he’s on a warpath to get her again. Teaming up along with his shapeshifting sidekick, Johnson — a rehabilitated demon able to assuming the type of every little thing from a Harley-Davidson chopper to a skull-launching blunderbuss — he’s primarily acquired to hoof it from one finish of Hell to the opposite.

As identified in one of many recreation’s many fourth wall breaks, which means it’s sort of like a highway journey story. Solely as a substitute of experiencing the thrill of the American freeway, Garcia & Johnson discover themselves: clearing out putrid catacombs; frequenting supernatural crimson mild districts; being pursued by a trio of grim reapers; and going toe-to-toe with a psychotic chicken man who (for causes identified to the builders alone) solely communicates by way of screeched F-bombs.

It’s each bit as OTT and puerile because it sounds, resembling the online game equal of a Troma movie. You may positively see why artistic author Suda51 would go on to work with (a pre-mainstream success) James Gunn for the next 12 months’s Lollipop Chainsaw, that’s for certain. Given their shared love of the perverse and the grotesque, it’s a veritable match made in heaven.

I Don’t Need To Develop Up

If the above description is even remotely interesting, then you definately’ll be happy to study that the brand new Shadows of the Damned: Hella Remastered has not sanded away any of these sharp edges. Quite the opposite, the continuous dick jokes, profanity-laced dialogue, cultural stereotypes, leering eroticism, outrageous gore, and normal unhealthy style has all been retained.

Which is a win for preservationists, in fact, since you needn’t fret over the artist’s authentic intent getting misplaced within the replace. That is Grasshopper Manufacture’s imaginative and prescient because it was all the time meant to be, neither defanged nor, because the case could also be right here, de-horned.

Whether or not that’s factor will largely rely on your tolerance for edge-lord humor (or, because the press notes have the audacity to place it, “witty banter” and “daring types of expression”). You see, there’s nothing intelligent about Shadows of the Damned’s writing, with the overwhelming majority of its wisecracks boiling all the way down to Garcia boasting concerning the measurement of his manhood. Sometimes it appears like these one-liners are imagined to be bawdy innuendos —  primarily based on how they’re delivered not less than — but it surely’s as if someone forgot to place any euphemistic substitutions in there. And thus what you find yourself with is individuals actually simply speaking about their cocks with none sense of irony or winking ambiguity.

But right here’s the peculiar factor. Generally these puns are so witless and blunt that they arrive full circle and develop into kinda humorous. It’s the Farrelly Brothers phenomenon. I received’t lie, I genuinely sniggered a good few instances throughout my playthrough. I’m not pleased with it, however I didn’t understand how else to react when Christopher went limp after I made him blow his whole load of ammunition. As a result of he’s like a penis! Get it?

As with all online game that depends on scripted comedy, the novelty of sure gags does put on skinny when you’ve been subjected to them a number of instances over (even the immortal “Style My Boner” quip loses its enchantment upon the twentieth reprise) however there’s crucially sufficient of them right here to maintain you amused. The truth is, I grew to become so attuned to its soiled thoughts that, after some time, I began seeing sophomoric references the place they could not have even been supposed! For instance, I discovered myself asking weird questions like: “Is the animation for lighting fireworks imagined to mimic a vigorous act of digital penetration?” and “Is that flower a knob, or has this recreation warped my fragile, harmless mind past restore?”

I assume that’s what you get when you could have a title that considers completely every little thing by way of the prism of both capturing it or fucking it. And likewise views each lady in relation to the relative flaccidity of the closest male erection. Which brings me to the one a part of Shadows of the Damned’s nature that’s aged much less endearingly: the icky chauvinism.

I’m all for a recreation that offers off the distinct impression it was directed by that one Tex Avery cartoon wolf that retains yelling “awooga” each time it sees a reasonably girl. That’s completely innocent. However there’s one thing extra off-putting about the best way that each feminine character right here is depicted as both a sexed-up babe, a wizened outdated crone, or repulsively overweight. Generally transitioning from one to the opposite within the house of a cutscene!

On the threat of sounding like a fuddy-duddy pearl clutcher, I’m additionally undecided why we’ve got to observe our half-naked girlfriend get repeatedly torn open and decapitated, usually whereas individuals make lewd feedback about her newly-mangled physique. It’s a bit bizarre is all I’m saying and if you happen to met somebody who had these attitudes in-person you’d in all probability wish to give them a large berth.

To be clear, I’d by no means advocate for censorship or attempting to change the previous with certainly one of these remasters — and, for that very cause, I’m glad Grasshopper Producer have caught to their weapons —  nevertheless, there’s no getting round the truth that elements of Shadows of the Damned: Hella Remastered really feel fairly dated within the 12 months 2024. Not solely by way of these relentless frat boy antics but additionally, it must be mentioned, with sure elements of the design.

Outdated Faculty Charms and Outdated Faculty Jank

For what it’s price, I really had a enjoyable 6 or 7 hours with Shadows of the Damned: Hella Remastered, despite its extra objectionable components. In some respects that dated high quality may even be fairly nostalgic.

It jogs my memory of the sort of short-but-sweet title you’d hire from Blockbuster Video again within the day, proceed to blitz by way of in a single weekend, after which by no means return to since you’d already digested all that it needed to provide. Nonetheless, you’d look again in your temporary time with it fondly.

For me, it belongs within the firm of different quintessentially “7/10” releases from the Xbox 360 period like: Singularity; Resistance: Fall of Man; Enslaved: Odyssey to the West; or Darkish Sector. All of which I maintain in excessive esteem by the best way. Certain, they weren’t ground-breaking by any stretch, however they delivered the products when it got here to satisfying gameplay and the identical is true of Hella Remastered.

It’s a throwback to when action-adventure titles weren’t slowed down by extra baggage (like tedious crafting mechanics, or extraneous open-world busy work) and as a substitute centered on delivering a tighter expertise. Certainly, from a contemporary perspective, it’s refreshingly environment friendly and to the purpose relating to transferring you from one gonzo set-piece to the following. All you do is blast away at monstrous hordes in linear environments, whereas your arsenal regularly expands and the eventualities you end up caught up in develop into more and more elaborate. There’s no guff.

The primary half specifically is densely full of memorable moments, from the chapter whereby you need to ascend a tower by driving an enormous chandelier (that, as a pleasant bonus, additionally smears enemies right into a gloopy paste if you happen to time your swings correctly), to the on-rails capturing gallery that pits you in opposition to biomechanical kaiju, or the 2D bullet hell sections that seem like the doodlings of a Tim Burton sketchbook. There’s even a bit the place it mainly turns right into a protracted Evil Useless 2 homage and, as a horror fan, it’s unimaginable to not heat to that.

Briefly, there’s loads of mad artistic spark right here. After he’s presumably taken a chilly bathe and acquired all that unusual randiness out of his system, Suda51 can provide you with some fairly cool concepts. His interpretation of the underworld is a extremely distinctive one, for example, replete with baby-faced hell spawn that received’t allow you to move till you’ve fed them strawberries, and goat-headed lanterns that present protected refuge from aggressors.

Granted, it could actually typically verge on being quirky for quirkiness’ sake however equally, there’s a improbable boss battle that has you duking it out with a Minotaur whose each final transfer is accompanied by the strains of a harmonica he as soon as swallowed in a earlier life… After which he summons a gargantuan steed to his support … Solely to eat mentioned horse on the finish of his first part …. Whereupon he then turns into 30 ft tall… And at last proceeds to urinate darkness that consumes all the map.

And, you already know what — throughout the logic of the in-game universe — that each one nearly is smart! In the identical means that the whacky guidelines of Beetlejuice make sense if you happen to’re prepared to go alongside for the journey.

As aforementioned, nevertheless, sure technical elements do really feel a tad clunky and will in all probability have performed with updating. On the planet of cinema there’s a really clear line between what constitutes a remake and what constitutes a remaster, however for us players these definitions are extra fluid. For the avoidance of any doubt then, Grasshopper Producer has plumped for the warts-and-all strategy with Shadows of the Damned: Hella Remastered.

There are a handful of latest costumes, a long-requested New Sport + characteristic and, if you happen to’re on PS5, now you can use the DualSense movement controls to make micro-adjustments that make it simpler to drag off these gratifying headshots. In any other case, the core components of design have been nearly untouched, leaving you to take care of the identical outdated visible glitches, texture pop-ins, buggy animations, and body fee dips. To not point out, the over-the-shoulder digicam nonetheless tends to misbehave each time the environments can’t correctly accommodate it (particularly if you happen to’re locked right into a cramped room with these huge electrical guys).

All in all, what you get with this next-gen version of Shadows of the Damned is a trustworthy restoration of a recreation that, for higher or worse, has not grown up one iota up to now 13 years. It’s brash, dumb, and oftentimes enjoyable, however you’ll must be ready for some stuff that frankly doesn’t maintain up too nicely. Each by way of its attitudes and its lack of technical polish.

Shadows of the Damned: Hella Remastered can be launched on PlayStation 4, PlayStation 5, Xbox One, Xbox Sequence, Nintendo Change and Steam on October thirty first. Assessment code equipped by NetEase Video games and Grasshopper Producer.